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Been a long time….

It’s been a long time…but I just saw this hilarious pamphle and I just had to share it. Now we’ve all seen these pamphlets by so-called doctors that claim to be able to cure everything from money problems to impotence….but never have I seen one worded so hilariously!

I especially like: “Just bring your penis to me. I will work on your penis and you will leave with a surprise”


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Old Town vs New Town

Change is inevitable.  People change. Places Change. What’s sad is when things change from old and authentic to fake and superficial.

For me the old parts of the city of cape town that had always been rich in history is changing but not for the better.  Everything looks like a fusion of old with splattering of new-age chrome and plastic, all aimed at appealling a certain crowd.  You know what crowd I’m talking about, young people in their mid 20’s to mid 30’s who are still hedonistically going through life with no cares about tomorrow, or the plight of  their fellow man.  Double incomes with no kids.  And in some cases, particularly in the case of a place like The Cape Quarter, it goes even further to attract a really more specific crowd, ie. rich couples with money to burn.

But the rich history and culture of the city and it’s people are being thrown to the wayside in favour of these consumers who don’t live in the real world.  It brings to light the stark contrasts of the country we live in. That with the space of 10 km, you can find multi-million dollar palatial residences right alongside communities of people living below the breadline.

What are your views on places like these in your city?

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Gosh Darn.

Relatives. You gotta hate ’em. Or do you?
I’m not so sure anymore. I used to be.

I’ve been meaning to blog in a while, and well I haven’t been feeling very motivated in the last two months. However, reading about Aasia’s recent loss brought it all back to me. I recently lost a close uncle. When I say close, I mean my mom’s youngest brother. The sad thing is, I can’t remember when the last time was that I saw him alive.

And the reason is that I had been in a self-imposed exile when it came to family, as a result of feuds and bitterness within the family circle. I had resolved to take the higher moral ground, and not interact with the relatives in question, but this by extension caused that I did not see my close relatives often. And this was fine by me.

Until my uncle passed away suddenly and with much emotional trauma. I was suddenly thrust into the forefront of dealing with family disasters, and often had to address gatherings of my extended family, and all looking at me for guidance. Suddenly selective interaction became extremely difficult.

And when it came to preparing my uncles body for burial, that’s when it struck home. A few of us were assisted by gentleman whom Aasia refers to as a Toekamanie (Malaysian terminology for a person who bathes bodies in preparation for burial). Between those few men in that closed room a unspoken bond occurs sharing this experience. Whatever occurs in that room, you don’t speak about to anyone else. It remains a secret which you take to the grave.

Here is the part that shook it all up for me. One of the guys in that room, was the very person that I had been avoiding for the past few years. And I just thought….to hell with it. You can’t hate a guy who has bathed a body with you. You just can’t.

I wanna just thank those people who helped me cope during this time, and they know who they are. It was an awful load to carry, thanks for letting me share the load.

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Good day

Just as i left work this afternoon, one of my colleagues offered me one of the best I’ve ever tasted….

I’m in chocolate eclair heaven…

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Thanks to Kay, I now know who Sylvia Plath is.  For those that didn’t know, in Dew’s words, she was this awesome poet that gassed herself to death.  Apparently suicide is much more common among female poets, and in fact this has been coined the Sylvia Plath Effect.  But what is it with writers and poets that make them wanna off themselves?  Wikipedia lists about 280 in a category, Writers That Offed Themselves. Or is it that mentally unstable people like to enter the arts, and there products are seen as masterpieces because it is just so outside the box?  And then they off themselves.  Which of course pushes them into the realm of literary superstars. Then they get Wikipedia pages.

No offence to my poetic brothers and sisters out there….I’m talking about you yes, Kay, Nooj, Parasputin. I just don’t get it.  (And no MJ, writing limericks do not make you a poet.)  See, I don’t get why you write them, and then publish them.  I say this because I know they’re not mean’t to be understood fully.  Surely only the poet knows what he means when he writes.

The lay person (me) out there definitely doesn’t understand them.  He tries.  And tries.  And then thinks he does. but he doesn’t!  Sure, he may interpret it in a certain way, but I’m positive that the poet didn’t intend it to be deciphered easily.

I think it’s a big joke.  Seriously.  I think the poet has written himself a private little joke and  is just cracking up at the multitudes on WRONG interpretations made by the readers.  Especially the pseudointellectual readers that think they understand it, and have smug expressions when you look at them and say, “i don’t get it”.  You know the type, they wear black, usually have berets, they gather in dimly lit underground coffee houses, and listen to recitals.  And instead of clapping, they snap their fingers for applause.

If Shakespeare was alive now, he’d be cracking himself up.  All those academics trying to decipher the real meaning of the Merchant of Venice, or The Tempest, or his collection of sonnets and getting it WRONG.

I’ll be honest.  When you guys write poetry, I don’t get it.  And I don’t think anyone else does either! I’m not saying you should stop,  but if you’re making a joke, could you please at least let me in on it!

But maybe it’s just me.

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I’ve been meaning to do this post for a while now. I guess me actually thinking about what for me were dealbreakers, maybe makes me rethink my standards and realise how prejudiced I’ve been.

I was watching The Big Bang Theory http://the-big-bang-theory.com/ and when two Nerds broke up because one believed in String Theory over Loop Quantum Gravity Theory things really hit home.

Yes.  I am a nerd.

I’ve had a lot of dealbreakers in my time.  People have called me fussy and stupid, and I protested that I had the right to be fussy when it comes to the person that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

For instance one was health.  I’m not the most healthy of specimens in this world, I know of people heavier than me that are fitter, but when it comes to health I don’t compromise.  For instance if you have type 1 diabetes, and don’t bother to check your sugars regularly or if you neglect to use your insulin it sends out a message.  And to me that message is, I can’t trust you.  Diabetes is a disease with a horrific complication rate, as little as 10 years from commencement of disease.  If you don’t look after yourself, you’re likely end up blind, in renal failure, and short one or both feet.  I’m sorry but If I can’t trust you to take your meds, how can I put you in a position of trust in my life.    Dealbreaker.

Another was mental health.  Ok, you may not be crazy enough and meet the DSM-IV criteria for being a paranoid delusional schizophrenic now, but give it time.  Maybe you just have schizoid personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder, but I just don’t have the energy to deal with it.  Dealbreaker.

Smoking.  Dealbreaker.   Drinking  Double Dealbreaker.

Clubbing.  This is where it starts getting fuzzy. It’s not a Dealbreaker per say, if you stop.  It’s all the other things that go with clubbing that I don’t quite agree with and find it difficult to reconcile.

Hmm.  Age.  This is where the prejudice comes in I think.  It’s not the end of the world if you’re 30, but please don’t act like my mother.  Oh, and you don’t have to like animals, but you also don’t have to go ape-shit if a duck waddles past where you are sitting!

Excessive Cussing.  You sure you don’t have Tourettes? Dealbreaker.

Disregard for moral values and unethical behaviour?  Dealbreaker.  Gossipmonger and general Conniving manner?  Dealbreaker.

One thing I’ve considered recently.  Previous marriages and children from previous marriages.  I’m sorry, I’m not sure I want to be an instant father.  I don’t think I have that in me.  So I guess other peoples kids are a dealbreaker for now.  I might change my mind on this.  depending on the age of the child I guess.

What are your dealbreakers?  I know that there is quite a lot of them out there….

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So Far So Good

So Far So Good. The car is great. It felt a bit underpowered at but now, I’m getting used to it, and I know where the powerband is. Getting in and out of it is still a bit tricky without the door touching anything else. Coupe’s always have wide doors, and your garage will never be wide enough.

The job is also going better. I’m getting used to the records, getting used to being in my office with poor ventilation, (mental note, get a fan), suckingly slow internet connection (darn students using up all the bandwidth with stupid things like….facebook). I’m slowly cottoning on to the Big Boss and her sarcasm, give me a week and she won’t be able to keep up.

Had to do the public speaking bit today. It’s one of the few things that I don’t enjoy about this job.

But then torturing the students made up for it.

Oh, and I finally found out wear the cafeteria is. After a week of going hungry. And darn, there are some nice looking women here. I think I’m gonna like this place. A lot.

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